Bah.

CN: medical stuff, gender stuff

 

I had the most horrible doctor’s appointment in a while yesterday and it’s been a day and I haven’t stopped crying.

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The System Is Breaking Down

CN: medical stuff, medication, discrimination/disability

 

There’s this big campaign at the moment – see the right medical professional for your issue! If it’s not an emergency, don’t go to the ER! You know, that sort of thing. So now, if you have a cold and need a day off work, you can pay around $25 at the chemist for a medical certificate (because if you cannot produce a medical certificate your employer can kick you to unpaid leave or fire you, depending on your agreement, and good luck fighting it at FWC, seriously) instead of going to the doctor, because the doctors are too busy. So in all this, one would expect that with chemists cribbing more power and the ERs foisting things like 10/10 abdominal pain off onto doctors (true story), and nurses campaigning for  the legal ability to perform minor surgeries, that chemists would have the knowledge to back up their newfound powers right?

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The Assumption of Autonomy

TW: medical things requiring a gynaecologist, medical treatment and disability, disability discrimination

 

I’mma say this once more, and only once. Being disabled does not and never should come with the assumption that I do not have bodily autonomy or the ability to make decisions about my body. It also should not come with the assumption that saying stupid stuff should be taken as medical advice, because really, drink more water! eat more food! would have stopped my migraines over a decade ago if it was going to work, wouldn’t you think?

 

What I dislike most about my situation is that I have to fight for every ounce of respect I get. I don’t talk. I am perfectly capable of expressing my thoughts and wishes by typing and, increasingly, by signing. I still have enough intelligence to understand what’s going on around me, and, increasingly, to explain it to others. Just the other day I was explaining union organising theory because certain people couldn’t understand how requiring people to take off their bras to go through security could be considered the least objectionable option. (This is a thing, btw.)

 

So I haven’t slept or eaten today because I had to go to the gynaecologist. Again. And I was told, again, that because I can’t talk, I can’t have the hysterectomy I have been asking for for years, since before I couldn’t talk, since before everything. And you know, it’s risky and I might have pain after and because I already have pain it’s too hard! (Never mind that by already having dealt with chronic pain, I have support already in place and am equipped to deal with it.)

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Everything Wrong With Persona 5 – so far…

The amount of Gladio hate just builds and it makes my life. Though explaining to white male gamers that psychological conditions are not a sign of weakness of character is an uphill battle, the discovery that the stairs in Altissia have white lines painted on the edges (an aid for people with low vision, so they know where the steps are!) makes my argument that certain other low vision accoutrements aren’t up to scratch a tiny bit more grounded, and I’m happy in my spot on the Descartes graph.

 

But while I can still go on about FFXV (I got the Afrosword before my brother, and I acquired the Black Hood without using a glitch, unlike my brother, so I am very happy), I just went back to Persona 5 after taking a break after being spoiled and having some ragey moments.

 

I don’t have a good history with Persona, and quite frankly this one is more upsetting than the last. Persona 4 Golden was generally upsetting due to its weird fixation on a flawed perception of sexuality and stereotypes, but certain aspects of Persona 5 are quite personally upsetting.

Spoilers below the jump:

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I Can’t Even

TW: gender dysphoria, anxiety, ableism, discrimination, mentions of rape/pregnancy, discussion of reproductive organ stuff

 

I just got home from the gynaecologist. I didn’t make it home before spouting into big ugly tears. I didn’t even make it out of the office, though I fought valiantly to keep them just in my eyes.

 

Let’s recap the situation:

I am genderfluid (they/them), asexual, and very not interested in having children. I very dearly above pretty much everything else in life, including singing with Sir Russell and not having to ever talk to my mother again, want a hysterectomy-oophorectomy.

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The Little Things

TW: discussion of weight/perception of weight (including numbers), ableism, discrimination

 

This post is going to be a mess because I have a lot to be annoyed about today.

 

 

 

I have a new pet peeve – it’s not a new thing that annoys me, but it escalated to an official peeve today.

Continue reading The Little Things