Elementary and Brain Injury

CN: television medicine, physical trauma, medical diagnosis, medical mistreatment, sexual assault, hormonal/menstrual symptoms and headaches/migraines

Contains spoilers for Season Six of Elementary

 

The ending of Elementary season 5 left us with the image of Sherlock Holmes being caged in a TV-version MRI machine (if you ever see one that has a head cage rather than a head rest, do let me know; I’ve been through three models of machine and never seen one) after experiencing what was revealed as hallucinations.

 

Unlike Bones, where the hallucinations were a 1-2-step of hallucination-brain tumour-surgery-fine, it was set up as Something Serious.

 

Elementary returned recently, and gave us what the showrunners consider an answer to this cliffhanger of “what’s wrong with Sherlock”.

 

There are two issues with this answer, which, for the spoiler-concerned, I discuss below the jump. Please bear in mind this is based solely on the first episode, which is all I have access to at this time.

 

Continue reading Elementary and Brain Injury

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A Step Too Far

CN: sexual harassment/assault

 

There’s a lot of things going on. Specifically, there’s lots of men being disciplined, suspended, or sacked (or… resigning, prompted by a forceful request…) after being accused of, or having evidence of sexual impropriety released, in the media.

A footballer was suspended for sharing a picture of a woman without her permission.

Production was suspended on a TV show after the lead actor was accused of assault.

A producer resigned and parts of his company followed, resulting in withdrawals and shutdowns on several projects.

 

In one case, the only people affected were the perpetrator and the victim. The perpetrator was disciplined subject to the policy of his employer and their supervising company. The victim did not pursue charges in order to retain her anonymity since the picture was shared online.

In many other cases, there are more people affected; not just family members or friends of the people involved, but people whose only connection is that they had a job which is now on hold or gone. Their only fault, if they have one, is that they didn’t say no to taking the job, which in this climate, may not have been a viable option when juxtaposed with one’s need to have money for things like food. Some of those people did have the financial freedom and the knowledge to choose not to, and they chose otherwise in the first instance. But terminating that project now, even if it is a financial loss to them, is not a thing which just affects them.

Continue reading A Step Too Far

Broken is broken

Contains SPOILERS for the BBC show ‘Broken’

I’m going to cut all of this, because seriously, this show has so many triggers in like, four hours (so far), that like, it’s hit the red exit button for everyone I know. Everyone. And in my view, some of it was entirely unnecessary or unnecessarily explicit. But! So under the jump there will be the TW, because apparently some people got past the first five minutes without putting all the pieces together and I do know at least one person who hasn’t even watched those.

Continue reading Broken is broken

Why I’m Not Attending Easter Masses

TW: Catholicism, discrimination, judgemental people, sexual harassment

 

It’s probably going to surprise people to know I’m Catholic. I’ve done the mental gymnastics, and it’s a thing I’m happy to identify with and it’s important to me, so that’s it for that.

Part of this is that I do not go to Mass. Every time I pony up and pull myself together and go, I end up coming home exhausted, an emotional wreck. Physically, it’s exhausting; I don’t kneel, but I still have to get up and down and walk around enough that I end up lying on the floor, that dreaded band around my waist, and my knees protesting every time I try to stand and my ankles twice their natural circumference, nearly perfect in their swollen roundness.

I would happily cope with that if Mass was a safe space.

Continue reading Why I’m Not Attending Easter Masses

Emetic Early Warning System

TW: disordered eating, PTSD, conversion disorder, chronic pain, people being sucky, assault and implied assault/battery

 

I don’t know how to condense this into a content warning, so if I have missed anything I need to put in please let me know. I think this post is more me putting my thoughts in order and getting them out of my head so I can move on.

 

So last week I talked about how important routine is and why messing with it can be detrimental, and about subdrop, vaguely. The takeaway was that I was not in an emotional place to be making decisions.

 

So I ended up quitting therapy just after that, didn’t I? Continue reading Emetic Early Warning System

Externalisation

TW: discussion of externalisation therapy, discussion of and description of treatment of personal/sexual violence victims, rape and rape aftermath, references to paedophilia

 

I think someone was trying to be helpful when they said that all my entries are about how other people did things to me and I should accept responsibility for it instead.

Accepting responsibility for things is how I got here. Half the point of this is to recognise when things come from other people, and that I am not responsible for that. Sure, I notice more of the people who behave that way, but it’s not like I make them that way, right? I don’t, so I won’t take responsibility for it.

 

Like, say, the psychiatrist is completely off down a track which is not right for me, which comes right after he says “people with your condition instinctively know what they need” and then refuses to listen to what I want, because he has decided that this other thing being fixed will make everything else all go away. I have another appointment with him, because the power went out halfway through and it was faster to make a new one and get out than try to explain that he wasn’t hearing me (reading me? understanding?). That’s not my fault for not being able to make him understand – that’s his fault for not listening, for making up diagnoses and holding information back from me (like, you know, test results), for dismissing me when I tried to ask him for help.

 

Continue reading Externalisation

On the safe space debate

TW: triggers, safe space, ptsd, discussion of (discussion of) sexual offences

 

The other day, the safe space debate hit me. I tend to ignore things-on-the-internet, so for it to get to me usually means it’s a huge issue.

 

“I don’t believe in safe space, what do you think?”

 

Huh? This came from the person who saw me having an epic panic attack, complete with crying, panda eyes, and a  distinct lack of coordination, and let me sit in his room so I didn’t have to deal with people.

Continue reading On the safe space debate