Let Me Tell You About A Thing

CN: sexism, rape, judicial process


This is what goes through my mind, what I viscerally experience, every time the ‘but women lie/what about the innocent men/false accusations!!’ thing comes up. Every time. On Facebook, in the news, in random comments on non-news-sites.

Continue reading Let Me Tell You About A Thing


Cooper Cronk Is Not A Legend

Everyone calling Cooper Cronk a legend for playing with a broken scapula is enshrining this nation’s problem with pain management in crystal and exacerbating the issue.


Cronk had access to superior pain management through his team (he had at least 4 painkilling injections throughout the week, most of us are unable to access any).


Any suggestion of duty of care to players from the team is being met with bullying and harassment (and remember, workers compensation for sports injuries is the rare exception, as professional sports aren’t covered for precisely this reason) on social media, because playing through the pain is to be praised because of dedication to the team/the sport, yada yada.


But the real issue is that while people like Cooper Cronk, Adam Elliott, (etc… etc… etc… and so forth) are publically noted for playing through injuries, people like Bowen Lockwood are left with no financial support and the inability to work after doing so. People like me are further stigmatised for not being able to do things because of chronic pain because ‘famous people (with access to instant, personalised, expensive, dedicated medical care that non-professional-sportspeople cannot hope to have) can do it so why can’t you?’. Every player who doesn’t play through an injury (potentially making it worse or opening themselves to longer-term or more significant consequences) is automatically not-a-legend because of it – even when not playing is better for the team, even when playing should logically be impossible. Every player who retires through injury or through medical advice due to long term consequences or because not being in pain is more important to them than throwing a ball around with mates in a bubble-world, is not tough enough. And that then flows down to us, the people who don’t work because standing is excruciating, who don’t get out of bed because walking is exhausting, who live in the dark because lights hurt, because if Cooper Cronk can play a Grand Final with a broken shoulderblade and painkillers, why can’t we?


Because we don’t have access to that kind of medical care (let alone effective or partially-effective medication), because when we ask for it we’re made to wait or told it’s not that bad or we don’t need it or if we just went back to work/ate better/lost weight/gained weight/wished on a star we’d be fine again, because people like Cooper Cronk can do it so everyone can and if they don’t they’re ‘less’.


Now, excuse me, I’m an introvert and with all the crap going on that I, as a non-professional non-sportsperson who is ace and non-binary, have to deal with in order to be able to walk from my computer to the kitchen and back, I cannot actually cope with online people, let alone discuss it without ending up in a rage-induced panic attack, so I’m going to go be alone and try not to cry for a while longer, because I have to stockpile spoons just to function.




cn: ptss, chronic pain, gender stuff (inc. references to surgery)


I had an appointment with previous-doctor last week. He somehow got hold of my test results, and despite trumpeting himself as a super-duper in-demand expert, said “well you have reasons to feel like crap”, “that doesn’t make sense you’re not fat and you don’t drink”, and walked out. He likes to walk out when he’s done talking and talk over me typing so I don’t get to actually ask questions. So I followed him out, signed the Medicare form, and the receptionist didn’t ask if I needed a new appointment so I didn’t make one.


Apart from that, I haven’t left the house in two weeks. I only just, two days ago, convinced myself to do the washing and wash the clothes I wore to the test. I didn’t check my email for over a week and I still have some that I can’t make myself read.


This would be a classic PTSS episode, but for one thing. I don’t know if it was the test that triggered it or not.

Continue reading PTS*

Not My Problem

CN: disability, discrimination, consent, assault


So I have to go to the hospital tomorrow, and it’s, at best, 50/50, whether I get sent home, based on all the ‘mandatory’ things I don’t have because of the very thing I’m there for. I’ve pretty much decided that if they give me any trouble I’ll walk out and complain, again, because stuff is building up there and I’m rather over it all.


The key thing in all of these is a lack of  common sense/awareness of consent.


Continue reading Not My Problem

Project New Doctor, part 3

CN: privacy, discrimination


Let me remind you that for a few years, I worked at a law firm – specifically in an area where I frequently had to deal with doctors and medical records. I do not think things have radically changed since then, and if they have it certainly hasn’t been publicised.


So, I went to check my mail today and had a letter from the hospital.


In this letter, they said they had been notified that I had changed GPs so they had sent my records to “facilitate [my] ongoing care” and when I was next in the hospital I had to tell them who I wanted to notify in future so that the correct GP was informed.

Here’s the problem – I haven’t changed GPs.

Continue reading Project New Doctor, part 3

Project New Doctor, part 2

CN: codeine drama, discrmination


Yeah, so, today was the first appointment with Potential New Doctor #1.


Receptionist presented me with a new patient form and insisted I fill it out, while holding my typed version. “But I have to scan it!!!” was said.


“Can’t you write?”

Well, sure, but not if you want to read it.


Cue huffing and heading out to the back to, as I discovered, gossip about it.

Continue reading Project New Doctor, part 2